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everytime ii wish
to be the best of myself
and finding the REAL me
so that ii can be the REAL person ii am today
Tuesday, July 10, 2007

bored! bored! bored! ii am bored to the core. ii am blogging now at 245pm in the afternoon in the campus crusade room and listening to someone playing don-know-what-thing on the guitar. and ii am bored. actually or supposingly ii do have a tutorial now but ii did not attend because ii don want to go (no mood) and ii always pon her class (sorry to say that but ii really do that). not guai right... so don learn from me. ii really no hope le. year one only then like that. haix....... how to tahan till year three. (shrugs shoulder) umm. ii am really BORED!!! have to wait till 5pm when ian comes and start the worship practice for crossroads on thursday. ii am bored...ok. let's talk about yesterday evening to night since ii have nothing to say and am bored.

MONDAY: had DG with wenbing and vera and val was there. so sad pris was not there. the funny thing is we only finish the first 2 pages of the lesson and only 1 question. haha. no time mah. start late also. cannot help it. during the DG, me and vera was laughing away because at another table, someone that we don know was watching herbie fully loaded and then the volume was at its max. then because the part that person was watching was the part with loud music and a lot of driving so both of us laughed. then at the same time, wenbing was teaching the lesson then she heard us laughing then she was like so conscious of what she was teaching. relax larhx. it is not about uu anyway. after DG we went home, me and wenbing took bus home together because we stay near each other and alight at the same stop. on the way home ii called joel because he never call me yesterday which he supposed to but he reached home very late. ii called then he answered the phone but he not free and also ii don want wenbing to know what we talking about so after 5 minutes we hang up the phone. because of that when ii was taking the lift up to the 24th floor, ii smsed joel on how ii don really tell on the phone even if ii have something to say before that. and actually this smsing could be very short but end up it was very long because after he got the msg he wrote some encouraging things which make me cannot take it but to have the urge to tell someone about the things ii did to hurt myself again. (don ask me what are the things) but ii am really glad that he is not going to tell for the time being because ii am trying to stop all these things myself and if ii cannot really handle then he will tell. so ii am quite glad about that. this was what happen yesterday.

after the whole smsing, ii was really thinking to myself whether ii am going to continue the way ii am and the things ii do to hurt myself. and ii was feeling sort of guilty because there are many other people that are looking at me and they have a lot of expectations from me as well. so why should ii let others be stumbled? and ii was thinking maybe ii should stop but ii really don know now. ii think ii will know it myself after a few days of serious thinking. so for now ii don want to say anything about everything and just wait a few days. but ii believe that ii will be able to stop because ii also don want others to be stumbled upon what ii have done that they are hurt especially HIM.

so for now. ii am going to say that ii am ending the post because ii also don have much things to say le. so byes.

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theREALme!

2:40 PM